Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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