is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize