We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
