I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
