We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
