we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just googled if crying burns calories
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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