Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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