This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
