He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
