Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
