When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize