playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The uberlube is also flammable
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
