it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
