dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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