she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
