I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
