nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
this just has baby written all over it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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