He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
