As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
