My nipple is on Facebook.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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