I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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