where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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