I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
