Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
