I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
