long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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