singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
