white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
