two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
