I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
