Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
