a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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