had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
