do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
