why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
