A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They took my balls.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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