...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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