We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize