Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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