I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
