I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
