im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
