why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
