okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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