I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My vagina is officially offended.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
