He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
