the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
