He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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