We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
