so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
