Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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