Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So here I am, sexting at work.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
