my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
