My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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