Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
