Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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