you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Boobs speak an international language.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
