K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
