i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
