Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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