Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
