i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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