My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
