Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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