i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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