4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
