is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
