For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
