Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
