My room smells like vodka and shame
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
