just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
