were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize