all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
