does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
