Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
