Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
