What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
