He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
