sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
