I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My dick has a subreddit
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
