Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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