but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
