I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
